


Glitter on the Mattress

by nubianamy



Series: The Love Shack [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: First Time Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Mutual Masturbation, Polyamory Negotiations, Porn Watching, Questioning, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-03-03 14:35:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2854355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nubianamy/pseuds/nubianamy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Puck and Kurt attempt to seduce Finn, and it all goes wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glitter on the Mattress

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who wanted to see what happened next! There will be a third part from Puck's point of view.

Kurt sat down at the kitchen table across from Finn, picking at the newspaper with two idle fingers. "Hey."

"Hey," said Finn, absorbed in the sports section. He let Kurt steal the front page from underneath his stack of papers.

"It's warming up outside."

"Mmm." Finn turned the page.

"This might be the last chance to enjoy the igloo before it melts. After dinner, tonight?"

Finn looked up. "Yeah? What's the plan? It's a little small for a party."

"Depends on the kind of party," Kurt said.

Finn had no idea what he was talking about, but he nodded. Sometimes it was easier to pretend he knew what Kurt meant. "So, what?" He dropped his voice. "Alcohol?"

"You know I don't drink." Kurt made a face. "But if you want some, I'm not going to tell dad. I'd bring something warm to sit on. Puck will bring a candle."

"A little fire, huh? That's cool." Finn closed the newspaper, looking more closely at Kurt. "You okay?"

Kurt looked away. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Nothing, just… you seem different."

He pushed his chair out from the table. "I'm going to make some lunch. You want a sandwich?"

Finn followed Kurt into the kitchen. "I can make it."

"How was your date last night?"

"Don't ask," Finn sighed. He reached into the fridge and got out the ham and cheese while Kurt turned on the stove. They hadn't needed to ask one another what kind of sandwich. That was one of the best things about living with Kurt, knowing those things about one another.

"I'm asking, aren't I? Did something happen?" Kurt wasn't looking at him, but Finn could tell he actually did care. It would only be a little weird to give him details. He wasn't even sure why he was holding back to begin with.

He shrugged, leaning on the counter. "Kind of. It's a stupid thing."

"I won't ask again if you don't want to tell me."

Finn watched Kurt butter the bread and lay it in the pan. "Okay. It's… Rachel's got this weird way of kissing."

"Weird how?"

"She makes her lips all hard and flat. It's like she's either trying to hurt me with them or keep me out of her mouth. You know how tongues are when you kiss?"

"Yeah, I know." Kurt was actually smiling. Finn relaxed a little.

"I guess maybe you have some experience with that now, you and your guy. So, yeah, it's always been a good thing, tongues, but she seems to think they're bad. It just feels like we're fighting whenever I try to kiss her. I kind of hate it, but… what am I going to do?"

Kurt gave him a sympathetic look. "Stop trying to kiss her?"

"But you kiss your girlfriend. It's part of the package." He got out the cheese slicer and set a couple of slices on top of the bread in Kurt's pan. "I don't think you can be boyfriends with somebody and not kiss them. That would just be rude."

"I don't think you should kiss somebody if you don't like kissing them." Kurt pointed the spatula at Finn. "Who  _did_  you like kissing?"

"Quinn," he said. "She was a great kisser."

"Maybe you can get Rachel to take lessons from her, then."

Finn shuddered. "God, I am not going to be the one to tell Rachel she's a sucky kisser. And you are not going to tell her I said that, either."

"Of course not." He carefully fitted the bread together, cheese-side in, and flipped it, making room for another slide beside the first in the pan.

"Is your guy a good kisser?" Finn asked hesitantly.

"I don't exactly have anything to compare it to," said Kurt, "but I really like kissing him. Way more than I thought I would."

Finn wasn't sure he was ready to hear about anything else that Kurt and his mystery guy were doing, but it had been a couple weeks now, so he figured they probably were doing  _something._  He watched Kurt making grilled cheese for him, and felt unreasonably grateful. When he moved in behind him and hugged him, Kurt jumped.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed.

"Uh, I'm giving you a hug?" Finn squeezed him, in demonstration. Kurt laughed, leaning his head back against Finn's collarbone.

"While I'm at the stove?"

"Are you going to burn me or something? Do I need protection?"

"Finn," Kurt said, squirming in his arms, but he didn't squirm too hard. Finn let him go anyway. He grinned at Kurt's flustered expression.

"You're hilarious." He patted Kurt on the shoulder. "I'm gonna talk to Puck about alcohol for tonight. I think if we're really going to be in that igloo, staying warm will be important."

"I don't think staying warm is going to be a problem," said Kurt.

* * *

Finn brought the wool blanket from the closet, along with the fifth of vodka he'd acquired from Puck earlier. There wasn't any moon, and the street was almost completely dark, but when he approached the entrance to the igloo, he could see a flickering light inside. He could also hear voices, laughing and talking.

"Are you guys, like, buddies now?" he asked, crawling inside. He crouched, leaning one hand on the wall, looking at Puck and Kurt's faces in the light of the candle.

"Whatever," said Puck dismissively. "You want some of this?"

Kurt was sitting next to Puck, his arms wrapped around his knees, while Puck reached out to take the paper bag from Finn. He scooped up a paper cupful of ice — fresh ice, from the freezer, not ice from the igloo — and cracked the seal on the bottle before pouring orange juice over the ice and adding some vodka.

They talked about nothing in particular. It was weird how normal it felt, considering that he never really hung out with both Kurt and Puck at the same time. They didn't seem to be uncomfortable, though, so he decided he'd just enjoy it.

"Maybe it's the alcohol," he said aloud.

"Maybe what is?" asked Puck.

He leaned back against the cold wall, then changed his mind and crossed his legs on the blanket. "Why this isn't weird."

"I'm not drinking," Kurt pointed out.

"Yeah, what's that about? You decided kissing wasn't so bad. Why not this too?" Puck held up the bottle.

"Oh, no. I don't want to go through what happened with April Rhodes again." Kurt shuddered. "You're not going to convince me drinking is anything like kissing."

"You kissed Brittany," Finn said suddenly. Kurt nodded. "Why wasn't that good?"

"Because I'm  _gay,_ " Kurt said. "I only want to kiss boys."

If he stretched his toes out all the way across the floor of the igloo, he could just barely reach Kurt's foot. "I was thinking it might be different with her because you weren't in love with her."

Kurt looked suddenly flustered. "I wasn't. I mean, it's not that simple. I think —" He sighed in exasperation. "I think I  _thought_  it was about that. That it mattered a lot that I was — that I had feelings for the other person? But I think it was more about chemistry."

"Sure," said Puck. He rolled the sip of orange juice and vodka around in his mouth. "You don't want to make out with somebody who doesn't turn you on."

"And make me feel safe. And respect me." Kurt hid behind his knees. "And know what he's doing."

"Well, I'm really glad you got that," said Finn.

Puck considered him. "Where are  _you_  gonna find that? Some girl you barely know? Why aren't you making out with your friends? That's what I do."

"You do?" Finn said.

"Sure. Britt and Santana are my go-to couple most of the time. If you're looking for all that stuff Kurt was saying, friends are the way to go. Right?"

Finn looked at Kurt, then back at Puck. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol that was making him feel confused, or the question. Kurt was watching him, though, as if he were waiting for Finn to answer. "Uh, I don't know. I think I'm supposed to be making out with my girlfriend and that's about it."

"Stupid rules," Puck said, waving his hand. "Totally stupid."

"It's true, I can't imagine anyone else I trust more than I trust my friends," said Kurt. "Assuming all the other things were also true, I don't see why not."

Finn had to laugh. "Yeah, you're saying you'd make out with the guys in Glee."

"Assuming all the other things were also true," Kurt said again.

He stopped laughing. "You're serious?"

Kurt looked thoughtful. "It's what Brittany was trying to tell me, I think. Only it didn't work for me, because I'm not interested in girls."

"Well, I'm not interested in guys," said Finn.

"Yeah?" Puck raised an eyebrow. "How do you know?"

"How does  _anybody_  know? You think about it, you go, okay, whatever, not for me."

"See, I think there's more to it than that. Kurt used to think kissing wasn't for him, but he changed his mind because the right people were involved."

Finn was starting to wonder if he should stop drinking. He was feeling a little dizzy. "I don't think people need to try things before they know they're not for them. Sometimes things just sound gross because they are."

"You think so?" Puck set down his cup. "Okay, I'll make you a bet. I bet, if we go around the room —"

"Igloo," said Kurt.

"— igloo, and each of us kiss the other person, we're gonna find somebody who likes what they're doing. Mutually likes, not just one-sided. And I'm saying this about any room full of friends, not just us."

Finn looked at Kurt. "Are you listening to this guy?"

"I think he might have a point, Finn," said Kurt.

Finn rolled his eyes. "Dude. Are you telling me you'll go first?"

Puck shifted toward Kurt with a little grin. "Why not? You game?"

Kurt smiled back. "Uh, okay?"

Before he knew what was happening, Puck was  _kissing_  Kurt. He was kissing him, like a real kiss, all gentle and careful, with one hand on Kurt's jaw. Finn watched their mouths open and fold into each other with complete ease. He stared at the connection of their lips. Kurt made a breathy noise, and Puck chuckled.

That was it for Finn. "You guys are totally messing with me," he snapped, staggering to his feet. They stopped what they were doing and stared at him.

"What about the bet?"

"Fuck the bet," he said. "There's no way you haven't done this before. Thanks a whole lot for trusting me."

He managed to squeeze his way out of the igloo entrance, knocking off a piece of the tunnel as he went. He stalked back to the porch, leaving the glowing structure behind in the yard. It was too much confusion in one place.

When Kurt came to bed later, Finn stayed facing the other wall.

"Finn," said Kurt. His voice was full of regret. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That wasn't fair of me. Of us."

That hurt so much, Finn didn't think he could say anything at all, so he didn't.

"We were — I mean, I think we thought you might be —" He sighed. "I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me for trying to take advantage of you. It wasn't fair."

"Yeah, it wasn't," he said. "I thought we got over this back in the spring when we moved in together. Only it's worse now. I thought I knew you. I thought I knew who you were."

"I really don't want to make you uncomfortable," said Kurt. "Me and Puck —"

"Yeah, what the hell is  _that?"_  Finn rolled over to see Kurt sitting on the edge of his bed, looking penitent. "Since when do the two of you trust each other? Since when do you even like him?"

"Since he gave me a reason." Kurt looked at him, his expression completely serious. "He's been kind and thoughtful and careful. He  _cares_  about me."

"Puck doesn't  _do_  that," Finn said.

He tilted his head at Finn. "He does with some people."

"So he's the guy? He's the one you've been doing stuff with for weeks? And you didn't want to tell me."

"We wanted to wait." Kurt paused. "You don't seem surprised Puck isn't straight."

"Yeah, I think I know my best friend well enough to know  _that_  about him already." He lay back down, pulling the covers back over his shoulder. "Whatever. I'm not going to fight with you. If you're happy, that's great."

"It doesn't sound like it," Kurt said softly. "It doesn't sound great from here."

Finn didn't say anything more. Eventually Kurt went into the bathroom and closed the door.

That was usually Finn's cue to take care of his own business, under the covers, but tonight, he wasn't sure if he could. His mind was too full of the image of Puck's lips, soft and gentle, on Kurt's. It didn't seem right to be thinking about somebody else making out while he was jerking off.

Then he had to wonder if Kurt was doing that in the bathroom. He assumed Kurt did, that he was just the same as any other guy, even if he was thinking about guys while he did it. Only now Finn knew he was probably thinking about  _Puck._  That seemed even more weird.

_Then_  he couldn't stop thinking about Puck and Kurt and what Kurt had said to him two weeks ago, about what guys did.  _Kissing and touching and… um._  The  _um_  had stuck with him, even back when he couldn't imagine who the guy might be, but now that he had a person to fill into the blank, the  _um_  was more obvious.

"Did you give him a blow job?" he asked when Kurt came out of the bathroom. Kurt paused, staring at him.

"You really want to know that?"

"I think I can't stop thinking about it now. Maybe just give me an answer and I'll be able to get it out of my head."

Kurt sat slowly back down on the edge of the bed. He was watching Finn's face really carefully.

"He gave me one. More than one. I still wasn't sure if I wanted to do that, for a while. It sounded kind of gross."

"Yeah, that's what Rachel said. She thought it was gross, and so she wouldn't." He got up on one elbow, looking back at Kurt the same way he was watching him. "So  _for a while_  tells me you're not feeling like that anymore. Did you do it?"

"Yes," said Kurt.

"So was it gross?"

"It was, a little. A little strange, and a little surreal, but — I really, really wanted to." The smile on his face made Finn feel funny. "He wouldn't let me do it until I really, really wanted to. He said,  _if it's not absolutely fuck yeah right now,_  it's not enough."

"Oh." Finn cleared his throat. "That's actually — really sweet."

"I know." Kurt looked away, blushing. "He actually is."

Finn wanted to ask what other stuff they'd done, because he knew Kurt had always thought  _all_  of it was gross. But obviously now it didn't matter, and he didn't  _understand_  that. How could it not matter?

Once Kurt was in bed and the lights were off, he was able to get out of his own bed and walk to the bathroom. He was pretty sure the rule about not staring at another guy's junk didn't apply for gay guys, and he really didn't want Kurt to see how turned on he was after the conversation they'd just had. But there was no way he was going to get to sleep without taking care of it, no matter how weird it was to be thinking about Kurt and Puck and their lips and blow jobs.

The idea  _was_  gross. He had to agree with Rachel there. The whole idea was totally weird and imagining doing it made him curl up his lip in disgust. But there he was, imagining it anyway, imagining himself between Puck's legs, or between Kurt's, for that matter, while Kurt made that breathy noise. It took him about two minutes to finish, and he felt guilty the whole time.

* * *

"Hey," said Puck, walking up to him in the hallway. It was as though everything were the same as it had been the day before. Finn couldn't quite look at him.

"Hey." He shut his locker, not angrily, but carefully. He didn't want Puck to think he was mad. "The, uh. The igloo. The entrance tunnel collapsed."

"Yeah, it doesn't matter," said Puck. "It's gonna melt today anyway."

"Yeah. That's it, I guess."

Puck narrowed his eyes. "You know it's not, right? This isn't gonna go away."

"No, I think I figured that out last night. You and Kurt." He made an awkward gesture with one hand at the hallway, the people passing by them. "That's for real."

"Yeah. We're gonna tell people. I thought you should be the first one."

Finn glared at him. "Kind of a sucky way to tell me."

"It could have sucked less if you'd stuck around," said Puck. "I thought we were getting somewhere."

"Where were you trying to  _get?"_  Finn shook his head. "No, maybe you shouldn't answer that."

"Maybe not in the hallway. Come over after school. I have some ideas." He patted Finn on the shoulder. "Don't worry. We're gonna figure it out, you and me."

That wasn't at all comforting. Finn was distracted for the rest of the afternoon, to the point that he didn't even notice Rachel when she tried to ask him a question. He had to ask her to repeat it.

"I said, how about we go to the Lima Bean after school?" she asked, sounding perturbed.

"I've got plans with Puck," he said. Then he realized how relieved he felt to say that, and he was confused all over again.

"After that?"

"I don't know when we're going to be done."

She huffed, pulling away from his arm. "Well, when you figure it out, maybe you can give me a call."

Finn and Puck rode their bikes back to Puck's house, under the trees where the melting snow dripped into the collars of their coats. The roads were nearly clear, the water running into the gutters with a rushing sound, but the snow in the yards was still piled up high. Puck's yard had a half-smashed snow fort that Finn figured was probably his sister's doing.

They raided the fridge and brought all the food into Puck's room. Nobody was home, anyway, but it felt easier to be there, behind closed doors, when he was at Puck's house.

"You're really going to be Kurt's for-real boyfriend?" he asked, folding the bread around a pile of roast beef and mustard.

"Yeah," said Puck. "Is that going to be weird for us?"

"It's pretty weird, yeah. But I told Kurt at the beginning, I'm glad he has that. It'd be stupid of me to say I'm not glad anymore, just because it's you."

Puck looked hard at the floor. "Why'd you leave last night?"

"What do you mean,  _why'd I leave?_  I wasn't going to sit there and watch you make out. It was obvious you guys were messing with me."

"We weren't," Puck insisted. "That was totally not the point."

He took a determined bite of his sandwich and chewed, then swallowed. "Well, what  _was_  the point?"

"You heard me. You've got a girlfriend and you don't want to be making out with her."

"No, wait, that's not true," said Finn. "I do want to be making out with her. I just wish she was better at it."

"Same difference." Puck poked a finger at him. "You think following the rules is more important than getting what you want."

"So what if I do?" said Finn. He was starting to feel uncomfortable again. "Why do you keep telling me what I'm doing is wrong?"

"Because you're not happy!" Puck yelled. Finn flinched a little. "You should be getting what you want. Because you're my best friend and I want you to be  _happy._  Not just going along with it because it's as good as you can get. You can get better than that."

"What if I only want Rachel?" he asked.

Puck snorted. "Yeah, whatever. Tell me that didn't turn you on last night, watching me and Kurt."

"That's not what I'm talking about," Finn said. "I'm not telling you I'm not turned on by — things. People. But I'm not going to make it my business when it's not. I've  _got_  a girlfriend."

"Yeah, and she's a bad kisser. Trust me, I know. But it's more than that. You aren't happy. You can't convince me you are, and it's not all about sex."

Finn shrugged, not looking at him. "I think it would suck more to try to start over."

"Yeah, that's the worst reason to stay with somebody I've ever heard. You just need to get over some of your hangups." Puck reached under his bed and pulled out a box full of DVDs, rifling through it. "Here's what we're going to do. We're going to sit here and watch some porn."

"Dude," said Finn, making a face, "I don't watch gay porn."

"Who said it was gay porn? This is het stuff. No bi anything. Chicks doing awesome things to dudes. Okay?" He slid a DVD into the player. "You're gonna watch with me and tell me what things turn you on."

"Okay," said Finn slowly. "I guess I can do that. But I don't know if you want — if I feel okay about doing, you know. Stuff. In front of you."

"I know. You get to say no. No questions asked. I'm not gonna push you." He scooted back against the wall to sit next to Finn, holding the remote. "Eat your sandwich."

Finn finished it while Puck chose a scene. It started with a girl taking off her dress, then kneeling down between a guy's legs, unzipping his jeans and pulling him out to stroke and touch him. He had a really big dick. Finn licked the mustard off his fingers slowly, feeling self-conscious, but Puck wasn't watching him.

"Rachel do that for you?"

"Not yet," Finn said, feeling defensive. "But she said she would. Someday. When she's ready."

"Yeah. In the meantime, you're kind of stuck waiting for her and feeling like an asshole for wanting stuff she doesn't want. How's that a good thing?"

"Because I want to be with Rachel, and she's worth waiting for." But he wasn't sure if he meant that, or if it was just the thing he'd been saying all along. He couldn't look away from the way the girl was rubbing the guy's dick against her boobs. "Uh, that's really hot."

"Yeah." Puck shifted beside him, his leg touching Finn's. "You know how a girl's skin is so soft? That's how the skin is on a guy's cock. Soft, and smooth. Warm."

"Oh." Finn watched her put the guy's dick in her mouth, moving fast. "That's… I don't know."

"Yeah, I didn't know either until I tried it. You hear him making those noises? It's totally awesome to make guys sound like that."

He tried to keep his breathing even as he watched the girl's lips. Her lipstick was too red. "Isn't it… you know, weird, being that close? Guys smell kind of funny."

"You can do it in the shower, then. No smell at all. I think it's hot, the way guys smell, but not everybody does."

She was sucking for a little bit and using her hands. His dick was thrusting into her mouth. Finn couldn't hold back a little noise. "That's… the way he's pushing. In her mouth. Isn't that uncomfortable when somebody does that to you?"

"You can put your hand around his dick and hold it back, as much as you need. There's something great about feeling a guy let go and just fuck my mouth, but —" He paused as Finn made another noise. "How'd it be if I sucked your cock while you watch this?"

"Oh my god," he whispered. He splayed his fingers out on the leg of his jeans. "Are you serious?"

"I am totally serious."

"I don't —" Finn took a breath. "I might not be able to handle that."

"Then we won't," said Puck.

"I have a girlfriend," he said.

"So call her and break up with her."

Finn stared at him. "I can't just  _do_  that."

"Dude, you can totally do that." Puck handed Finn his phone. "Tell her you need a break to think about things."

"A break, to think about things." It sounded pretty reasonable when Puck said it. "She's not going to like that."

"You've got a lot to think about."

He kept holding out the phone until Finn took it, dialed and put it to his ear before he could talk himself out of it. He  _did_  need time to think. Even if he was doing more than just thinking.

" _Finn,"_ she said, sounding hopeful. The sound of her voice strengthened his resolve.

"Rach, I'm calling because… I need some time to think about things. About us."

" _What things?"_  she demanded.  _"What are you talking about?"_

"I want to take a break."

Finn kept watching the screen, the way the guy was grabbing the girl's head and pulling her in close as she sucked him. He could see her boobs moving, but he kind of wished he could see the guy's face instead, see the way he was reacting, the faces he was making.

" _You're not serious."_

"Yeah. I am. I'm sorry, but I don't think we can go out anymore."

Puck nodded encouragement. Finn heard Rachel sniff. He felt like a total jerk, and not just because he was watching porn with his best friend while he was on the phone with her.

" _I guess I saw it coming,"_ she said.  _"How long do you need? A week?"_

"Yeah, a week. Let's talk again in a week." He looked over at Puck, who nodded again.

" _Okay. I love you."_

"I love you too, Rach," he said, but she'd already hung up. He groaned and let his head lean back and bump the wall.

"It was the right thing to do," said Puck.

"I know. It still sucks."

"You want to stop?"

"No. It's okay." He really didn't, no matter how selfish that was. He gestured at the TV. "Does this turn you on? Watching them do this?"

"It's okay." Puck touched his leg. "It's way hotter talking to you about it."

He shuddered. "You can, you know. If you want to."

"Suck your cock?"

"Yeah."

Puck was already moving his hand to Finn's zipper. "As long as you tell me if it gets too hard to handle."

Finn tried to keep his moans under control as Puck undid his jeans and pulled his dick out through the slit in his boxers. It was weird to be hanging out like that, but no weirder than seeing Puck's head between his legs. Then Puck opened his mouth and licked him.

"Shit," Finn hissed, his hips bucking forward.

"Just watch the screen," said Puck. His voice was muffled. "I'm cool with this."

Finn wasn't sure what to do with the combination of feelings and sensations and images, but he tried to keep his eyes on the things he knew were hot. On the screen, she pulled the guy's dick out of her mouth again and started jerking him, positioned for a perfect shot onto her bare chest.

"I'm gonna come," Finn said in a panic. "Oh my god, Puck, I'm gonna come."

Puck didn't pull away. Finn wasn't  _fucking his mouth,_  not like he'd said. It was kind of the opposite of that. Puck was taking him as deep as he could go, stroke after stroke. When Finn felt himself lose it, he tried to remember that Puck had said he liked it, that it was hot, that he wasn't doing anything wrong or taking advantage of him or anything. He kept his hands flat on the bed, carefully away from Puck's head.

Puck was making some really appealing noises around Finn's dick, noises that made it sound like he was into what he was doing. He dropped his eyes to Puck's ass, the way he was leaning up against the edge of the bed, and the grinding motion he was making against it.

"That's hot," said Finn. "You, doing that."

Puck moaned again, and Finn had to close his eyes, because hearing that was way too intense. He felt Puck's mouth release his dick, and it sprang back to slap against the hem of his underwear.

"I'm not gonna ask if this was weird," Puck said, breathing hard. "I know it was. And I also think you wanted it. And that's okay."

"And you — wanted it?"

He knew that was a stupid question from the way Puck looked up at him and laughed. "Yeah. I wanted it."

"What's Kurt going to think?"

He was afraid to ask, and more afraid not to, but Puck just shook his head. He didn't look worried at all, which was almost the most weird thing of all, even weirder than watching Puck tuck his soft, slightly wet dick back into his underwear and zip him back up.

"Go home and talk to him about it. Just tell him what we did. You won't get me into trouble or anything." He switched off the TV.

Finn sat against the wall as Puck stood up, cracking his back. He wasn't sure what the rule was about looking at a guy's junk after he'd just given you a blow job. From the quick glance he gave Puck's, he was pretty sure Puck hadn't gotten off yet.

"What about you?" he asked.

Puck shrugged. "I can wait. Unless…"

"Unless?"

"Unless there's something else you can tell me you want."

"I want —" Finn thought about the guy, the girl on the DVD, and what he'd wished he'd been able to see. "I want to watch your face. While you, uh. Is that totally weird?"

"Nothing's weird, Finn. It's just what you want. That's pretty hot." He rubbed his hand over the length of his dick through his jeans. "You just want to see my face? Like, the rest of me stays under the covers?"

"Yeah," he said apologetically. "I'm not sure I'm ready to watch you doing that."

"That's okay." Puck pulled the sheets back off the side of the bed, draping them over his legs, and wriggled out of his jeans under the blanket. "You get whatever you want."

"Wow." Finn suddenly realized exactly what Puck meant by that.  _Whatever I want._  He let his eyes wander down to look at the lump of Puck's hand under the blanket, moving rhythmically, and shivered. "You really want… stuff. With me?"

Puck's breath escaped from his mouth in a puff. "You're seriously asking?"

"Yeah?" He looked back up at Puck's tense face, the way his eyes were closing. "What're you thinking about?"

"You're asking what I imagine when I jerk off?"

"Uh, yeah. I guess." He watched in fascination as Puck's cheeks went red. "You don't have to tell me."

"Right now I'm imagining Kurt going down on you."

"Oh." It was a startling thought, but from Puck's expression, the way his hand was moving faster, it seemed to be an effective one. "You want to see him do that?"

"Fuck," Puck groaned. "Yeah."

He dropped his voice. "Is he — good at it?"

"Fuck," Puck said again. His words came out clipped and tense. "He's so hot, Finn. He's so fucking into it. It gets him hot, just like it gets me hot. That's so much better, when both people are into it. I only want to do stuff everybody wants to do, otherwise it's not worth it."

_Everybody._  The word made him giddy. He watched Puck's face contort. "What have you guys done?"

"A lot. A lot of great stuff." He watched Finn through lowered lids, breathing hard. "He fucked me."

"Oh, wow," Finn breathed. He hadn't expected that. "I, uh. You liked that?"

"It was the best. Best fucking thing ever. Except for maybe…" Puck let his eyes close again.

"What?" Finn said.

"This," he whispered. Finn looked around them, feeling bewildered.

"This?"

"Because it's you."

It was a little bit like the way he'd felt back at the beginning of the year, when Rachel had told him how she felt about him, how she trusted him. He felt surprised, that anyone would care about him that much, and awed that it was  _this_  amazing person who felt that way. This person, whom he cared about, too.

The pressure to make it something awesome, something special, was on, but it didn't feel bad. With his heart beating hard, Finn reached under the covers and placed his hand on Puck's tense stomach. Puck stopped the motion of his hand, and his eyes opened as he looked at Finn in surprise.

"You wanna do this with  _me?"_  asked Finn. "I mean, that's really different from wanting to do it with friends. You said  _—"_

"Dude," Puck groaned, squirming on the bed. "Do we have to talk about this right now — I'm so fucking close…"

He moved his hand a fraction of an inch lower. Puck's words broke off into a strangled gasp.

"Is this okay?" He was leaning close enough that his question landed on Puck's shoulder. Puck turned his head toward Finn, his mouth slack. Finn could feel the rhythm of Puck's stroking fist resume, just below his own hand, resting on Puck's abs.

"Yeah — I'm gonna come."

Finn watched Puck's face closely as he did. It wasn't strange to feel the warm wetness coating the back of his hand. That was familiar. It was the way that Puck was  _looking_  at him. The feelings of surprise and awe redoubled.

"Holy shit," Finn said hoarsely.

Puck closed his eyes, relaxing back against the wall with a shuddering breath. "Yeah. You could say that."

"You really want to do all those things — with  _me?"_

"Yeah." Puck sounded defeated. "Pretty much for fucking ever."

Finn carefully removed his sticky hand from Puck's stomach. "But…" He wasn't sure how to ask this. "You're doing them with Kurt. Don't you want to be doing them with him?"

"Kurt's amazing," he said sharply.

"Hey, no, don't get me wrong, I — I know he's amazing." Finn looked around for a few seconds before giving up and wiping his hand on the blanket. "I'm just… I'm trying to get this. Are you in love with him?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"And—" Finn almost couldn't say the words. "Are you in love with  _me?"_

It was probably an unfair question, because Puck clearly had no resistance left. Puck nodded, his eyes still closed.

The surprised-awed thing washed over Finn again, leaving him dizzy. "Wow."

Puck sighed, gesturing at Finn with the hand that wasn't under the covers. "You can have your big gay freakout now. I won't stop you."

"No, I — I was kind of thinking I would kiss you now. If that's okay."

Finn waited for Puck to open his eyes before he did it. He wasn't exactly sure what was showing on his face, but if it was anything at all like what had been on Puck's, he wanted Puck to see it. After a few seconds, Puck made a noise, and Finn made a noise, and then Puck grabbed his head and kind of wrestled him into position before kissing him again.

"How was that?" Puck asked when they paused for breath.

It was perfect was what it was. Finn nodded enthusiastically before kissing him again, because kissing was better than words. Eventually, though, the thoughts in his head got too big and he had to stop and say them.

"I'm still freaked out by the idea of doing things with guys."

"I know," said Puck. He kissed Finn more gently, and that made Finn kind of want to cry and kind of want to kiss him harder.

"I don't know how many of them I want to do."

"I know."

He touched Puck's chest through his t-shirt. It was warm and firm and strange, but not bad. It was different. "I — get what you see in Kurt."

Puck laughed in surprise. "Yeah, I thought you might."

"I don't mean because he's pretty."

"Well, you have to admit, he is."

"Okay," conceded Finn, "maybe his lips are kind of sexy. I'm just saying — I'm not talking about that part. I'm saying I get why you love him. He's worth it."

"Yeah." He nudged Finn's stomach. "He wants you to be happy."

"You think he'd be happy about this, though?" Finn kissed him again, just so there was no question about what  _this_  he was talking about. When he sat back, Puck looked pensive.

"I think so," he said. "He wouldn't want us  _not_  to have it. But he'd want it, too."

Finn nodded slowly. "He used to want me like this."

"I don't think that ever went away, dude. In fact, I know it."

He watched Puck as Puck put his jeans back on, trying not to look away. It was hard, after so many years of  _not_  looking, to actually intentionally  _look._  Puck's ass was round and muscular and flexed when he bent over.

"Your butt is sexy," Finn said. He knew he sounded amazed by the idea, and his own amazement made him laugh. Puck laughed, too, watching him curiously.

"First time you ever thought that, huh?"

"Yeah."

Puck approached him, swaggering a little, and Finn laughed again as Puck put his arms around Finn's waist, cupping his ass loosely in his hands.

"You've got a pretty sexy butt yourself," he said.

"This is so weird," said Finn. He didn't pull away.

Puck nodded, looking up at him. "Bad weird?"

"I don't think so. I'm kind of… the feelings. They're easier than the other stuff." He smiled at Puck, trying not to be conscious of his own dick — which had been hard again since before he'd put his hand on Puck's stomach — so close to Puck's dick.

"We can stick with feelings, if you want."

"I, uh." Finn cleared his throat. "I love you, too."

Puck's smile had some of that surprised-awed thing. Finn realized, with a rush of awareness, exactly what that was.

"It's loving somebody and having them love you back," he said. Puck seemed to get what he was saying, even though he wasn't exactly being clear about it.

"That's pretty fucking awesome," said Puck.

"But it's not enough? I mean…" He leaned in and kissed Puck again, concentrating on exactly how it felt, how it was different from what he'd had with Rachel. When he heard Puck make a noise, he started to laugh, still kissing him.

"Am I that hilarious, dude?" asked Puck. He didn't sound offended. He was grinning too.

"No, no, just —" He shrugged. "It's being  _wanted._  You want me.  _That's_  pretty fucking awesome."

"Yeah." Puck's grin got soft. "I want you in a lot of ways."

"You want Kurt, too." Finn felt like he was close to getting something. "He wants you. You guys are great together."

"Finn," said Puck. He turned Finn around and gave him a little push toward the door. "Go home. Talk to him. Stick with those feelings."

"You really want me to tell him what we did?"

Puck handed him his jacket. "That's up to you. Tell him how you  _feel._  About me, about this. He'll get that."

Finn paused in the middle of putting on his knit hat. "I think… I think I want to kiss him. Is that okay?"

"You really don't have to ask for permission to do anything," said Puck. "So, yeah, if he wants to kiss you, I'd say go for it."

Puck moved in close, slowly enough that Finn could have backed away, but he didn't. It felt less weird than before, and the kissing was still perfect.

"I bet he'd like it if you told him his lips were sexy," said Puck.

" _Your_  lips are sexy," said Finn. He felt himself blushing. Puck grinned.

"We can talk later about what else I can do with my lips."

* * *

Finn watched Kurt all through dinner. He saw Kurt catch him doing it, and he looked away quickly, but not before Kurt frowned at him. When they were clearing the table after dinner, Kurt paused close to him.

"What is going on?" he murmured.

"We should talk," said Finn. "After this."

Kurt nodded warily. "Okay?"

That was all Finn said. He wasn't sure what it would be like to begin this conversation, but he was sure he didn't want to do it in front of Kurt's dad.

After the dishes were done, he went downstairs to their room and sat on his bed and waited for Kurt. Kurt closed the door at the top of the stairs when he came down.

Finn waited until Kurt sat down across from him. Then he held out his hand. Surprised, Kurt took it.

_He trusts me,_  Finn thought, and a rush of something warm and happy bloomed in his chest.

"Rachel and I are taking a break. For a week."

"I'm sorry," said Kurt, in a way that Finn knew meant he wasn't sorry at all. He nodded and went on.

"Me and Puck, we talked."

"About what happened in the igloo?"

"About a lot more than that. Mostly about me. About what he thinks I deserve. He, uh." He couldn't help the smile from escaping. "He told me he loves you."

"Yeah," said Kurt. His own smile was puzzled. "He told me that."

"Yeah. And you love him, too, right?"

Kurt looked at his lap. "I think so. It feels like that."

"But — Kurt, you love me, don't you?"

Kurt opened his mouth and closed it again. "Finn…"

"Because I love you." It was easy to say, after the awareness of that surprised-awed thing with Puck. "I really love you a lot."

Kurt was staring at him, speechless. Finn moved over to sit next to him on the bed, and put his arms around him, hugging him tight. He could feel Kurt shaking.

"I'm not saying this to take away anything that you guys have," said Finn. "Or even because I know what I'm doing. I just wanted you to know how I felt. Because I think I haven't really told you that before."

"Not… like that," said Kurt. "You never told me like that."

"Yeah. I've been kind of stupid about that. Because saying it is way better than not saying it." He took a moment to touch Kurt's hair. It was soft, like Rachel's. He heard Kurt sigh as he ran his fingers through it. "There's a lot I don't really know yet."

"About what?" Kurt sat back and looked up at him. Finn could see his eyes were wet.

"About what I want. I'm trying to figure it out. Puck helped, though. He —" He made himself look at Kurt when he said it. "He told me he loved me. Like he loves you."

"Oh." Kurt blinked fast. "Did you — was that okay?"

"It was really okay," he said. "I told him, feelings are easier than the other stuff. We did some of that, too. The other stuff."

"You — you did?" Now Kurt sounded completely bewildered.

"Yeah. I don't know how much you want to hear about it, but I wanted you to know. Puck told me I could tell you as much as I wanted, but I should mostly stick with the feelings stuff."

Kurt bit his lip. "I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to tell me, Finn."

"Yeah, I'm not sure either." Finn took a deep breath. "I don't know how much I like guys. I thought the answer was  _not at all_ ,but I think that's not exactly true. I mean, I know it isn't. But I think loving somebody makes the guy stuff easier to deal with."

"The guy stuff."

"Kurt," he said, "I think you have a really sexy smile. And your hair is soft. And when you and Puck were kissing, I'm sorry if this is creepy, but you made this noise, and it was really hot."

"That's not creepy at all." Kurt's smile was wonderful. And, yeah, Finn had to admit it, sexy. He reached out and touched Kurt's lips. It made Kurt catch his breath.

"Do you think I could kiss you?" Finn asked.

"Yes," Kurt said immediately.

Finn was aware that Puck had been gentle when he'd kissed Kurt. But the way Kurt kissed Finn, it was clear he didn't want that. Finn let his mouth open, let his tongue slide into Kurt's mouth, and when Kurt made a moan, he tried holding his face the way Puck had done and kissing him harder.

"Oh my god," Kurt murmured.

"This is okay?" Finn asked, still kissing him. He ran his hand through Kurt's hair again.

"Yes yes yes." Kurt touched Finn's face, pulling him in closer. "Please. Kiss me."

His own response to Kurt's kissing — which was awesome, Puck hadn't been lying — felt less scary than he'd expected. Maybe it was because he'd already come once, with Puck, so it wasn't so intense. Maybe the pressure felt like less because Kurt was just kissing him, not trying for anything else. He kind of wanted to look at Kurt's lap to see if he could tell if he was turned on, but he wasn't sure how Kurt would feel about him, staring.

"This is amazing," said Kurt. He leaned into Finn's arms. "You're amazing. You really want this?"

"I really do," said Finn. "I have for a while, I think."

He could tell Kurt was crying, but it didn't seem to be getting in the way of what they were doing, so he just kept kissing him. The noises Kurt was making were awesome. It made him think about what Puck had said about giving a guy a blow job:  _You hear him making those noises? It's totally awesome to make guys sound like that._

"I love making you sound like that," he said. He pulled Kurt closer into his arms and held him tight as Kurt cried harder. "Is this too hard? Do you want to stop?"

"No," Kurt said, his voice shaking. "I don't want to stop. I'm a little overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed. That's a good word."

"You love me," said Kurt, "and you want to kiss me."

"Yeah. And maybe other stuff. I just don't know yet."

"Okay?" Kurt reached for a tissue and blew his nose. He watched Finn. "What about Puck?"

"He wants all of that too. With both of us."

"And you're okay with that?"

Finn touched Kurt's knee. He watched Kurt watching his hand. "I think so? I haven't felt bad about it yet. I'm still happy you've got this thing with him. And I'm a little weirded out by what he and I did, but I totally was into it, and… I think I'll get over the weirdness."

"You don't have to, Finn," Kurt said earnestly. "You don't have to want it."

"No, I know. He was sweet with me about that too. I think — I do want it. I just don't know how to handle it yet." Finn let his hand move up further on Kurt's leg, watching Kurt's eyes widen. "This okay?"

Kurt nodded wordlessly. He leaned in and kissed Finn again, exhaling into Finn's mouth as Finn moved his hand up even further. When Finn felt the pulse of Kurt's response inside his tight pants, and he backed off.

"I don't know if I'm ready for up close and personal with your — um." He squeezed Kurt's knee.

"It's fine," said Kurt. "Honestly, I don't think I'm ready for that either."

"But you're ready for it with Puck? Which is totally cool, I'm not saying it's not."

Kurt sat back a little further, still holding on to Finn's hand. It felt good to hold his hand like that.

"I think it's because he so obviously wants it," he said. "He's never pushing me into anything, but everything he wants, it's so hot. And he just waits until I ask for it."

They sat there for a minute, Kurt squeezing Finn's hand every now and then.

"Do you want to hear about what we did?" Finn asked.

"Um." Kurt peeked at him. "It depends on what you intend to happen after that."

"Yeah, well, last night, you telling me about what the two of you did, that was a big turn-on."

"Exactly."

"Did you, uh…" Finn flicked his eyes at the bathroom. "Afterward?"

"Last night, you mean?" Kurt's cheeks were red. "I didn't, but I could have. Easily. You?"

"I felt totally awful about it, but… yeah. I felt bad about getting off on the two of you together. I mean, I felt weird about it to begin with, and then… it seemed kind of selfish, you know?"

"Oh, Finn," said Kurt, shaking his head. He hesitated, then reached out his other hand and ran it over Finn's ankle, propped up on the bed. The look he gave Finn was more than longing. It was hungry. Finn gulped a little. "You don't ever have to worry about that. We really wanted you to watch."

"Yeah, I think I get that now." He let out a steadying sigh. "How about we do normal things for the rest of the evening? Homework and TV and stuff. Then we come back down here and get ready for bed, and I'll be in my bed and you'll be in yours and we can talk."

"That sounds good," Kurt agreed. "Can I kiss you one more time?"

The kiss was hotter and more intense than Finn had expected, but Kurt seemed to be in control of himself, and that made it easier to deal with. It also meant he was hard again when he walked away. He caught Kurt looking, and that was unexpectedly nice.

"You've always turned me on, you know that?" he told Kurt.

"Really?" Kurt seemed flustered by this information, but pleased.

"Yeah. Every time you sing." He ducked his head. "And when you wear that Cheerios uniform."

Kurt went around with a smile on his face for the rest of the night. That made Finn so happy,  _he_  had to smile, too. His mom even commented on it.

"Yeah," Finn said. "I had a good day."

It was calming to do the ordinary things around the house, to pack his lunch for tomorrow and pick out his clothes and finish his Spanish. He took a minute to text Puck before bed.  _Things are good. Nobody's freaking out._

_Glad to hear it,_  Puck replied.

The words were ordinary, too, but Finn could somehow hear the other words in the background, the unspoken  _I-love-you_ things that — he realized now — had probably always been there in what Puck said to him.

He sat there staring at his phone with a stupid grin on his face for a while before his mom touched him on the shoulder.

"A good day, hmm?" she said quietly.

"A really good one."

"Anything you want to tell me about?"

He considered it without freaking out, while Kurt eyed him from across the room. "Not yet," he said. "I'm not sure what to tell you right now."

"Okay," she said. "Any time you change your mind, I'll be ready to listen."

"Do you think she knows what's going on?" Kurt whispered to him after they said good night.

"No way," Finn whispered back.

"I don't know. Some of the things she said about Puck, back when he started building the igloo, they make me wonder." Kurt paused at the bottom of the stairs. "You said something the other day. About different kinds of love, that you don't always get the sexy kind and the regular kind at the same time?" He tilted his head. "I thought you were talking about you."

"I was," he said.

"I don't understand."

"I was talking about me and Rachel."

"Oh," said Kurt. "That — makes sense. I thought you were trying to tell me you weren't interested."

"I have no idea what I was trying to tell you." He moved into the bathroom, then shook his head and came back out. "No. That's not true. I knew. I was jealous and I didn't think it was fair that you got both kinds and I didn't." He looked regretfully at the floor. "I was being a stupid butthead and I'm sorry."

Kurt laughed and came over to hug him. "You're not stupid. Or a butthead. If it had happened to you, I would have been jealous too. I mean, I was, about Rachel, for a long time. Before I realized you weren't happy."

Finn was quiet, holding Kurt. "I was happy, sometimes."

"Not really," said Kurt. "That was what Puck and I both were so upset about. It wasn't even that you didn't want it with us. It was that you kept trying to make it work with  _her_  when it was clearly not good enough for  _you_."

"And you think… what? You're going to save me? Make me happy?"

"I think," said Kurt carefully, "between me and Puck, we could make you… really, really happy."

"Oh," whispered Finn. He could feel the pieces falling into place with a dizzying  _click._  "Oh, wow."

He glanced quickly at the stairs before descending on Kurt's mouth, kissing him firmly enough to make him squeak. It didn't sound like he was complaining, though, so Finn kept doing it until the squeaks turned into moans.

"That," Finn said between kisses, "is awesome. Hearing you sound like that. I think I want to kiss you all the time if you're going to sound like that."

"I want you to kiss me all the time," Kurt agreed fervently. "If you don't mind the consequences."

"The — oh." Finn paused at the pressure of Kurt's hips against his leg. He made one brief, insistent thrust against Finn, then stepped away with a measured sigh.

"I think, if Puck were here, we'd have a different way to handle that," said Kurt. "But we'd better go to bed, like we agreed."

Finn hesitated. "I think… I could be talked into doing more?"

"No," Kurt said. "I don't want that. I want you to want it, period. I learned that much from Puck. Nobody talks anybody into anything. We wait. If you still don't want it, it won't happen."

"Well… okay." Finn watched him wistfully. "I kind of  _want_  you to talk me into more."

"I know." Kurt smiled as he picked up his own toothbrush. "That's wonderful. But I want you to take your time. I'll look forward to watching you figure out what you want."

They hovered close by one another as they got ready for bed, taking every opportunity to nudge elbows and arms and touch fingers along the way. Finn waited until Kurt had unbuttoned his shirt to approach him from behind, putting his hands on Kurt's bare shoulders. Kurt visibly melted into his touch.

"That's… wow." He stepped back to lean against Finn's chest.

"Wait a sec." Finn peeled his own t-shirt off, dropping it on the floor. "There. Try that again."

Kurt's skin was warm and smooth and silky against his. Finn could only think about what Puck had said about guys' dicks, and how that skin was warm and smooth and silky too. Kurt's back resting against his chest made his heart pound.

"Can we talk rules?" asked Kurt.

"Rules?"

"Rules. About what's okay. You know. The  _no homo_  code at school. I have to carefully follow the rules, or I risk getting beat up. At home, ever since the faggy lamp incident, I've been… especially careful." He leaned his head back on Finn's chest as Finn hugged him tighter. "What are our rules now?"

"You mean, like, I told you I didn't want to get undressed in front of you."

"Like that, yes. Do you still feel that way?"

Finn thought about it. "No? I think I want you to watch me. If you think I'm worth watching. I know I don't look like Puck."

"You're my favorite," Kurt said, his voice rich. "And I watch you all the time, when you don't know I'm looking. But I'd be willing to be more obvious about it."

"Okay." Finn could feel his blush all the way down his neck. He wondered if Kurt could feel the heat against his own skin. "How about, um. In the shower."

"Let's keep the bathroom private for now, okay? I have to have some secrets." He turned in Finn's arms, facing him. "In the morning, when I wake up. I want to kiss you."

"In my bed?"

"Yeah."

"You want to get in bed with me in the morning? Kurt, you do know how I usually wake up."

"The same way I do, Finn." He ran his hand over Finn's chest. "I can stay above the covers, if you prefer."

"No, that's… that's okay." He kept breathing normally. "It hit me today that Puck really wants to do things with  _me._  I guess you do too, huh?"

"Yes."

"Even though you're already doing them with Puck?"

"Finn, you're not second best," Kurt said. He looked completely serious. "You're my  _favorite."_

"Me?" said Finn. He felt totally lame asking again, but Kurt just nodded. He kissed Finn once, and his lips were so, so soft.

"Time for bed?" said Kurt.

"Yeah." He watched Kurt walk to his own bed, climb under the covers, and turn out the light. Then he did the same, pausing to shed his pants along the way. He left his boxers on.

They lay in the dark in silence for a long moment. Every sound of shifting blankets from Kurt's bed just heightened the sensation on his skin.

"So, uh." It was ordinary, talking into the dark to Kurt, but the things he wanted to say were so far from ordinary, it felt almost impossible. "You wanted to know about the things we did. Me and Puck. Is this a… a good time to talk about them?"

"Yes, please?"

"Okay. We were sitting on his bed, you know, how it goes up against the wall —"

"I've never been over to his house, Finn."

"Oh." He felt stupid for assuming that Kurt had. "You mean you've done all the stuff you've done  _here?"_

"In the igloo," said Kurt.

"That's pretty hard core, Kurt."

"It was the private place we had. And it felt like our own space. We didn't want to intrude on the bedroom, yours and mine."

"Do you think you might want to intrude now? I mean… it wouldn't be intruding. I think it would be okay with me, if you wanted to be here together."

"I was thinking about that, too." Kurt's voice was so soft. "I was thinking you might want to be here, when we do things."

"Here?" Finn asked.

"Listening. Watching. Anything."

He took a careful breath. "I don't know."

"It's all right. What did you and Puck do together?"

"We watched, um. Porn. Regular porn, not… you know. Just a guy and a girl doing stuff. And Puck talked to me while we watched. Asked me what I liked, what turned me on. I asked him questions about… what it was like to do stuff with guys." He thought about Puck's head between his legs, and felt his dick throb in response. "Then he offered to do it to me. The thing the girl was doing."

"What was she doing, Finn?"

"She was giving him a blow job."

"Oh god."

"Kurt, are you, uh…?"

"I might be. A little." He sighed. "I was trying to be quiet about it. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about that."

"Do you think if we… both did it, it would be less weird?"

"I think so?" The blanket-shuffling became more pronounced. "Do you want to hear it, or would you rather not know when I — when I'm done?"

"I wish I could see you," he said. "I mean, your face. I wish I could see your face."

Kurt sounded nervous. "I don't know if I could do that in front of you if I could see you watching me. Can you just imagine?"

"Yeah, it's fine. And, um. You can tell me when you're done."

"Okay."

Finn carefully slid his hand inside his boxers and gripped his own dick loosely. He heard Kurt open the drawer in his nightstand.

"Puck gives really good blow jobs, doesn't he?" Kurt asked. "Not that I have any basis for comparison."

"Me either. It was my first one. What are you doing?"

"Getting hand lotion?"

"Oh." He was quiet, still holding himself, but not doing anything else.

"Is that weird?"

"I have no idea, Kurt. I don't talk about jerk-off techniques with my friends or anything."

He didn't mean to sound so awful about it. Immediately he felt sorry. Kurt sighed.

"We don't have to do this."

"I want to. I mean, god, Kurt, I'm so hard right now, I think I have to."

"Me too, but I can go in the bathroom if you don't want to hear it."

"I want to," he said again. "I want to tell you about how I watched Puck do that. Under the covers."

Kurt paused. "You watched him under the covers?"

"I watched his face. While he jerked off. And I touched his stomach. He —" He squeezed himself, just once. "He came all over my hand."

"Oh, Finn," Kurt said. It didn't sound like he was upset. Finn could hear the sheets rustling again. "Was that —?"

"Watching him." He pictured Puck's face, the way he'd looked when he said,  _He fucked me. Best fucking thing ever._  Finn squeezed himself again, harder. "I liked watching his face. And, uh. His butt. When he was blowing me, he was kind of grinding up against the bed, and his butt, it was…"

"Finn," said Kurt urgently. Finn stopped talking. He heard Kurt make a desperate noise.

"Wow, the noises. I love the way you sound."

"Yeah? Oh, god. Finn. Wish I could feel you right now."

The memory of Kurt's smooth, silky skin and the feeling of his own dick in his hand was too much. He squeezed himself a third time and came in his boxers to the sound of Kurt's rustling sheets.

"I'm so close," Kurt panted. "Are you close? Finn?"

"I, uh." He squeezed one last time, feeling the aftershocks fading. "I already finished."

"Oh. Oh, Finn." There was several long seconds of heavy breathing and frantic movement of his sheets, and then he was still.

"Kurt?" he asked softly.

"I'm here. That was… intense. And messy. I'm not used to doing that in bed."

"No way." Finn was surprised. "Where else would you do it?"

"In the shower, usually. With soap. Are you okay? Was that too weird?"

"It was weird," Finn said. "And I kind of love you more than before."

Kurt sighed, this time in relief. "I love you, too, Finn."

He stripped off his sticky shorts and dropped them over the edge of the bed, reveling in that surprised-awed feeling. "That's the first time you ever said that to me."

"I know."

"What we just did… I'm going to need to do that again in the morning, okay?"

"Me too. Maybe even in the middle of the night."

Finn felt his dick pulse, once. "That's really okay. You can do that. Good night, Kurt."

"Good night."

Finn did wake up once in the middle of the night, but he didn't feel like he needed to jerk off. He just lay in the dark, listening to Kurt breathing, and thought about Puck and Kurt and kissing and listening and everything they'd talked about until he fell back to sleep again. In the middle of the night, he didn't feel weird, or even scared. He just felt lucky.

"I'm happy," he whispered.


End file.
